He helps you cheat in an exam.
She helps you decide on your clothes when shopping.
They help you when you need a ride back after party.
They help you get into a house party.
She helps you understand a feminine emotion.
He helps you by giving you a ride when you need it.
Friends, in all shapes, sizes and colours ALWAYS help you, and they personify the phrase ” Got your back “.
Now all this sounds cute, and pretty normal. but NO.
This is different. This is when it really matters…
Well after reading my blog, at bare minimum intellect, I probably come off as a collection of mere words and honestly, i do not blog that often. rarely more than ever. so I do not blame you for a very vague perception of my character, personality, attitude & manner.
but just to give some sort of a pre text to what will follow, here’s some information regarding moi.
I love doing unusual activities and I’m an antonym for conformist, but in the spot light today is my daring and slightly demented ‘Non Conformistic Athletic and Sport related Manner’.
I love doing all sports, with all honesty, i can say i do not excel in any but then again its sports.. so i do not mind being a jack of all trades instead of being a master of one. :)
I’ve done/ participated in most of the sports you would come across, a few more daring ones remain unmarked on my list.. but i shall get around to them soon enough, so no laments there.
So now that I have assisted in the birth of a little pre conceived notion in your minds regarding my manner with sports. Let’s make it a little bit more interesting.
One imagery that I remember just as if it happened yesterday, is that of myself wearing my 20Dhs mirror-ed aviators. (my 3rd pair. just fyi) and considering the speed we were travelling at, the obvious cinematic effect of wind blowing through my hair.
and in the eye of my mind, this image has a duration of a mere 3 seconds. but those 3 seconds of what i like to call bliss, are almost heavenly when compared to what happened after…
My friend screaming. A loud noise. A crash. Cussing. Panic. Utter panic. Sheer havoc. The sound of an engine dying. Glass breaking. and then the slow painless relief. nirvana like feeling: absence of consciousness.
The biggest and most expensive mishap of my concluding teen life.
I shall save you a fair amount of time now, since I can’t really describe what followed since I have a trauma-related memory loss. but bits & pieces of my memory scattered in the bag of memories will let me share with you folks this,
I was rushed in an ambulance to a hospital.
my ear was stitched back on.
i fractured the base of my skull.
i had a ct scan taken.
i had 3 contusions on my brain.
yes, I reiterate. the biggest and most expensive mishap of my teen life.
a barrage of doctors. nurses and paramedics muddle my memory. patients from other wards screaming. the smell of bleach, medicines and cleaning detergents swamped the air.
if i were to chose a word to sum it up?
overwhelming.
it is quite obvious that after my mishap, i was in no position to call an ambulance and explain what happened and assist their inquiries regarding what had happened. and in my dazed and amnesia-tic condition, i noticed 2 figures towering over me. as i laid against a wall, bleeding from all facial exits. they were shocked themselves, especially one, since he was riding on it as well.
with a few seconds taken to grasp the situation, the other one, he sprung into action. called 999. explained as precisely as possible. and he made a few calls to retrieve my residence number. with a gruesome, zoned out patient lying in front of him, he marvelously composed himself. got himself together. the source he got my landline number did question as to why he was doing so, but then with his mind set with reaching out to my parents. he tactfully pushed an explanation for a later time.
the landline rung, and my dad answered. what my friend conveyed & explained to my dad was a real ‘wake up call’
ever heard of ‘rude awakening’ ? well that would still stand as an understatement.
my dad, now had an imagery formed in his mind. he too seemed composed, as to what they tell me. i spoke to him, (according to my friend, as i have no memory of the sort). i just kept stuttering an apology. an apology was all i could think of.
the following 60mins is a blur due to trauma related amnesia. but a fraction of memory permits me to remember the ride in the ambulance. i cannot seem to remember the interior of the ambulance, or the facial features of the paramedics. but i knew i was in an ambulance due to the siren.
if there is one clear and vivid memory of the ambulance ride it is this conversation,
Me: “damn, there is blood in my ear, what exactly happened? i don’t remember”
Him: ” well basically you…( continues to explain the entire accident )”
120 seconds later….
Me:” gaah, my face is burning & it really hurts, what exactly happened ?”
Him: ( confused tone but nevertheless ) ” Umm.. basically you.. (continues to explain the entire incident again)”
60 seconds later..
Me: “why can’t i move my legs? screw that, just tell me what exactly happened?”
Him: ” basically you..( patiently, he explains it all over again. )
I do not if he ever explained it thrice out of pure pity, or if he understood my situation.
but then he did alert the paramedic on this little incident, upon which the paramedic commented that it is not unusual for it to happen with a head injury.
honestly, i can say that, if it were him lying there, or someone close to me, and we had the same encounter. i would definately be weak in my knees.
But what i learnt from this encounter, that it might have been exhausting, frightening, irritating and rushed for him… but at the end of the entire medical treatment when i streamlined my chain of thoughts.. I realised,
He was there when it really mattered to me.
when i asked the same damn question in 3 mins, and he proceeded to answer it, patiently all 3 times.
He was there when it really mattered..
The later part of that day was a combination of scans, doctors & diagnosis.
i was hooked up to all kinds of tubes & machines. the needling effect of stitches and dressings.
cream was applied for friction burns, my bed was set up at a 45 degree angle. i was a sight to see. a guinea pig for an experiment. but it was all called upon by myself, but nevertheless, it was an experience. good or bad? i might never know. because i learnt from the experience, more than any safety manual will ever teach.
so i might point out that i had heavy memory loss regarding the accident and the period after. so to my knowledge, what occurred in the passing hours, i was left completely unawares.
but when thinking the part of memory that allowed to recover some of what had happened, this is what i remember :
B and K came to the hospital, and visited me in the ICU sect of the hospital. i’ve seen different looks on their faces before, but never the kind of which i saw that day.
it spelt compassion, utter surprise and had an underlying theme of pity.
i never informed them regarding the accident, but he did. and within the next 90mins, they were giving me company in the ward.
they were there when i needed company.
they were there when it really mattered.
the accident, is still a sort of a dream to me as i do not remember it happening at all, i guess memory loss was a blessing. but soon after i realised what had happened. i was soaked in guilt. guilt because i was riding the bike & crashed it. in all fairness only i should have borne the pain and cost of my mistake. but unfortunately, he had to as well. that depression drove me paranoid for the coming next 45mins.
i was screaming at the top of my voice for information regarding him, i wanted to know how he was, where he was. and even though they told me he was okay, i wanted to see for myself. i wanted to see that he was okay. that he hadn’t paid the price for my mistake.
my mother says i did use a fair amount of profanity, but i guess in the entire context of events, it seemed reasonable.
if you do read this, again, i’m sorry…
but you were not pissed, you were not hurt. you were there. you were kind. you had the look of compassion & pity as well.
i apologized for totaling your bike, but i still remember you said “screw that, i just want you to be okay”.
though it seems a meagre statement to dish out, it meant alot & it helped.
you were there, encouraging as ever.
you were there when it really mattered..
my the end of the day, my closest group of friends had been informed.
its humorous now, but their ‘optimism’ at refusing to believe that i had met with an accident was quite encouraging. :)
but when they did realise it was the whole truth and nothing but the truth (i know, lol)
they were disturbed. profoundly disturbed. i won’t say how much, but they were.
i’ve known them for the better part of 6 years. and i can say that i’ve never noticed such a strong feeling of remorse. :)
i sound sadistic. but maybe i was then. realisation of how much they cared for me, made me happy. made me feel better. made what was remaining of my day. their reaction is still fresh in my head, and will probably never grow stale. i love them :)
Day 2
i went to sleep early the previous night, for obvious reasons. and that resulted in me waking up at 7am.
i was definately better than what i was 24hrs ago. and I was back in my senses.
my grip on reality strengthened. it slowly sunk in. what had happened. i did not remember it, but i was aware of my surroundings.
after quite a long spell in bed, lying there disoriented. i figured i should see who all know regarding the accident, so i took my bb, and went through a few messages i had received. i ignored them and chose them to read for later, since my priority was to inform the rest of my closest friends who didnt know,
and at 6.45am i messaged a few people, and then later dozed off again.
around 9ish ( i think, i don’t remember ). he came to visit.
i’ve known him for 4 years, and have developed a family - type relation with him, he was like a brother. no doubts about it. we had similar views & we loved doing the same type of shit. there was never a dull moment. but then when he came, there was the first silent one.
he later told me, that he could not gear up to make conversation, he was left that speechless. i guess everyone who had heard about the accident had somewhat underestimated it. he spent the remainder of the day with me, in company.
discussing our past antics, he said this one definately took the cake.
i guess with reminiscence, i realised.
he was always there when it really mattered…
an hour later, the girls showed up. oh the nicest, most adorable and kick ass party-ers. ever. and uff, absolutely & mindblowingly pretty (only because you guys are going to read this, thought i’d put a little humour :P )
i guess they had prepared themselves the previous night, so they seemed more calm and chilled than what i anticipated. but nevertheless, they still spoke in a high pitched voice. -.-
they spent the entire day, with me. in my ward. of an ICU unit. of a hospital. on a Saturday.
that too it was diwali, but it didn’t matter. they were there. rather than discussing my accident, they helped me keep my mind off it. by helping me notice things in my ward that i’d completely missed. ( the ‘wash me’ sign was definately one of them :P )
they took me for a wheelchair ride to the neighboourhood toilet. and then some. we “zoomed” past the other wards ( yes, i was still a bit psyco after the accident ;) )
but whatever it was, i knew how they felt at the end of the day, and if i didnt know then, then i surely found out the following week. later that evening, when they were out celebrating, i still received constant voice notes. it is the farthest thing from actually being there, but that one evening.. i definately felt that i was. :)
you guys were there when it really mattered…
Though i slept through a majority of the portion of the day, i am still thankful to you guys, y’all visited when i was sleeping and i didnt have a chance to see you, but knowing that you came all that way, just proved everything i’ve been trying to say the last few pages. :)
you guys cared enough to come. you guys were there when it really mattered.
for the next 2 weeks, i received a tantamount amount of calls inquiring about my health, and had an endless range of visitors. from those who came all the way from sharjah, to those across the road.
i remember each and everyone who visited, and just the act or the purpose of traveling so far. showed that you guys were really there when it mattered.
when it really matters, distance, time, busy schedule, nothing proved to be an obstacle. some of us aren’t even that close, but you still made the effort. at the end of the day, when i considered all the parameters of you all visiting, i realised.
you all were there when it really mattered…
this is my longest post ever, and hopefully the only one as such (regarding the accident). you might or might not have noticed that i have not mentioned my mom and dad anywhere. because i wanted you to leave with the following thought.
i’ve all the friends i need in the world. and they give me strength. but at the end of it all.. Mummy & Daddy..
You were the reason I was able to get back on my feet. You both helped me up. It took me days to walk properly, but every time even the slightest imbalance occurred, your ever so loving hands reached out to me. so that i could hold them and gain balance.
and that is true in statement and symbolically. you helped restore the balance in my life. you helped me realise that this was an opportunity rather than a mishap. an opportunity to realise what i’m blessed with. may the blessings be in the form of friends, doctors or the process of a speedy recovery. you both helped me value life more than i ever previously did. you both restored my faith. faith i had lost a few months ago.
its been over a month, but i still remember the conversation we had the day i was discharged from the hospital. the conversation when i broke into tears out of fear that i would remain handicapped for the rest of my life..
you both just smiled. that in itself gave me a sense of relief. gave me the answer to what i was looking for, that i would be okay..
you guys were not there when it really mattered… you guys were just always there :)
whether it mattered or not.
i love you both so much. and again, i’m sorry for putting you through the trauma of my accident.
People are always there.
but whoever reads this, please absorb the following statement,
” I have friends & parents, who never left my side, and were there when it really mattered…and I love them. they are worth more than anything else in this world for me”
He helps you cheat in an exam.
She helps you decide on your clothes when shopping.
They help you when you need a ride back after party.
They help you get into a house party.
She helps you understand a feminine emotion.
He helps you by giving you a ride when you need it.
Friends, in all shapes, sizes and colours ALWAYS help you, and they personify the phrase ” Got your back “.
Now all this sounds cute, and pretty normal. but NO.
This is different. This is when it really matters…
Well after reading my blog, at bare minimum intellect, I probably come off as a collection of mere words and honestly, i do not blog that often. rarely more than ever. so I do not blame you for a very vague perception of my character, personality, attitude & manner.
but just to give some sort of a pre text to what will follow, here’s some information regarding moi.
I love doing unusual activities and I’m an antonym for conformist, but in the spot light today is my daring and slightly demented ‘Non Conformistic Athletic and Sport related Manner’.
I love doing all sports, with all honesty, i can say i do not excel in any but then again its sports.. so i do not mind being a jack of all trades instead of being a master of one. :)
I’ve done/ participated in most of the sports you would come across, a few more daring ones remain unmarked on my list.. but i shall get around to them soon enough, so no laments there.
So now that I have assisted in the birth of a little pre conceived notion in your minds regarding my manner with sports. Let’s make it a little bit more interesting.
One imagery that I remember just as if it happened yesterday, is that of myself wearing my 20Dhs mirror-ed aviators. (my 3rd pair. just fyi) and considering the speed we were travelling at, the obvious cinematic effect of wind blowing through my hair.
and in the eye of my mind, this image has a duration of a mere 3 seconds. but those 3 seconds of what i like to call bliss, are almost heavenly when compared to what happened after…
My friend screaming. A loud noise. A crash. Cussing. Panic. Utter panic. Sheer havoc. The sound of an engine dying. Glass breaking. and then the slow painless relief. nirvana like feeling: absence of consciousness.
The biggest and most expensive mishap of my concluding teen life.
I shall save you a fair amount of time now, since I can’t really describe what followed since I have a trauma-related memory loss. but bits & pieces of my memory scattered in the bag of memories will let me share with you folks this,
I was rushed in an ambulance to a hospital.
my ear was stitched back on.
i fractured the base of my skull.
i had a ct scan taken.
i had 3 contusions on my brain.
yes, I reiterate. the biggest and most expensive mishap of my teen life.
a barrage of doctors. nurses and paramedics muddle my memory. patients from other wards screaming. the smell of bleach, medicines and cleaning detergents swamped the air.
if i were to chose a word to sum it up?
overwhelming.
it is quite obvious that after my mishap, i was in no position to call an ambulance and explain what happened and assist their inquiries regarding what had happened. and in my dazed and amnesia-tic condition, i noticed 2 figures towering over me. as i laid against a wall, bleeding from all facial exits. they were shocked themselves, especially one, since he was riding on it as well.
with a few seconds taken to grasp the situation, the other one, he sprung into action. called 999. explained as precisely as possible. and he made a few calls to retrieve my residence number. with a gruesome, zoned out patient lying in front of him, he marvelously composed himself. got himself together. the source he got my landline number did question as to why he was doing so, but then with his mind set with reaching out to my parents. he tactfully pushed an explanation for a later time.
the landline rung, and my dad answered. what my friend conveyed & explained to my dad was a real ‘wake up call’
ever heard of ‘rude awakening’ ? well that would still stand as an understatement.
my dad, now had an imagery formed in his mind. he too seemed composed, as to what they tell me. i spoke to him, (according to my friend, as i have no memory of the sort). i just kept stuttering an apology. an apology was all i could think of.
the following 60mins is a blur due to trauma related amnesia. but a fraction of memory permits me to remember the ride in the ambulance. i cannot seem to remember the interior of the ambulance, or the facial features of the paramedics. but i knew i was in an ambulance due to the siren.
if there is one clear and vivid memory of the ambulance ride it is this conversation,
Me: “damn, there is blood in my ear, what exactly happened? i don’t remember”
Him: ” well basically you…( continues to explain the entire accident )”
120 seconds later….
Me:” gaah, my face is burning & it really hurts, what exactly happened ?”
Him: ( confused tone but nevertheless ) ” Umm.. basically you.. (continues to explain the entire incident again)”
60 seconds later..
Me: “why can’t i move my legs? screw that, just tell me what exactly happened?”
Him: ” basically you..( patiently, he explains it all over again. )
I do not if he ever explained it thrice out of pure pity, or if he understood my situation.
but then he did alert the paramedic on this little incident, upon which the paramedic commented that it is not unusual for it to happen with a head injury.
honestly, i can say that, if it were him lying there, or someone close to me, and we had the same encounter. i would definately be weak in my knees.
But what i learnt from this encounter, that it might have been exhausting, frightening, irritating and rushed for him… but at the end of the entire medical treatment when i streamlined my chain of thoughts.. I realised,
He was there when it really mattered to me.
when i asked the same damn question in 3 mins, and he proceeded to answer it, patiently all 3 times.
He was there when it really mattered..
The later part of that day was a combination of scans, doctors & diagnosis.
i was hooked up to all kinds of tubes & machines. the needling effect of stitches and dressings.
cream was applied for friction burns, my bed was set up at a 45 degree angle. i was a sight to see. a guinea pig for an experiment. but it was all called upon by myself, but nevertheless, it was an experience. good or bad? i might never know. because i learnt from the experience, more than any safety manual will ever teach.
so i might point out that i had heavy memory loss regarding the accident and the period after. so to my knowledge, what occurred in the passing hours, i was left completely unawares.
but when thinking the part of memory that allowed to recover some of what had happened, this is what i remember :
B and K came to the hospital, and visited me in the ICU sect of the hospital. i’ve seen different looks on their faces before, but never the kind of which i saw that day.
it spelt compassion, utter surprise and had an underlying theme of pity.
i never informed them regarding the accident, but he did. and within the next 90mins, they were giving me company in the ward.
they were there when i needed company.
they were there when it really mattered.
the accident, is still a sort of a dream to me as i do not remember it happening at all, i guess memory loss was a blessing. but soon after i realised what had happened. i was soaked in guilt. guilt because i was riding the bike & crashed it. in all fairness only i should have borne the pain and cost of my mistake. but unfortunately, he had to as well. that depression drove me paranoid for the coming next 45mins.
i was screaming at the top of my voice for information regarding him, i wanted to know how he was, where he was. and even though they told me he was okay, i wanted to see for myself. i wanted to see that he was okay. that he hadn’t paid the price for my mistake.
my mother says i did use a fair amount of profanity, but i guess in the entire context of events, it seemed reasonable.
if you do read this, again, i’m sorry…
but you were not pissed, you were not hurt. you were there. you were kind. you had the look of compassion & pity as well.
i apologized for totaling your bike, but i still remember you said “screw that, i just want you to be okay”.
though it seems a meagre statement to dish out, it meant alot & it helped.
you were there, encouraging as ever.
you were there when it really mattered..
my the end of the day, my closest group of friends had been informed.
its humorous now, but their ‘optimism’ at refusing to believe that i had met with an accident was quite encouraging. :)
but when they did realise it was the whole truth and nothing but the truth (i know, lol)
they were disturbed. profoundly disturbed. i won’t say how much, but they were.
i’ve known them for the better part of 6 years. and i can say that i’ve never noticed such a strong feeling of remorse. :)
i sound sadistic. but maybe i was then. realisation of how much they cared for me, made me happy. made me feel better. made what was remaining of my day. their reaction is still fresh in my head, and will probably never grow stale. i love them :)
Day 2
i went to sleep early the previous night, for obvious reasons. and that resulted in me waking up at 7am.
i was definately better than what i was 24hrs ago. and I was back in my senses.
my grip on reality strengthened. it slowly sunk in. what had happened. i did not remember it, but i was aware of my surroundings.
after quite a long spell in bed, lying there disoriented. i figured i should see who all know regarding the accident, so i took my bb, and went through a few messages i had received. i ignored them and chose them to read for later, since my priority was to inform the rest of my closest friends who didnt know,
and at 6.45am i messaged a few people, and then later dozed off again.
around 9ish ( i think, i don’t remember ). he came to visit.
i’ve known him for 4 years, and have developed a family - type relation with him, he was like a brother. no doubts about it. we had similar views & we loved doing the same type of shit. there was never a dull moment. but then when he came, there was the first silent one.
he later told me, that he could not gear up to make conversation, he was left that speechless. i guess everyone who had heard about the accident had somewhat underestimated it. he spent the remainder of the day with me, in company.
discussing our past antics, he said this one definately took the cake.
i guess with reminiscence, i realised.
he was always there when it really mattered…
an hour later, the girls showed up. oh the nicest, most adorable and kick ass party-ers. ever. and uff, absolutely & mindblowingly pretty (only because you guys are going to read this, thought i’d put a little humour :P )
i guess they had prepared themselves the previous night, so they seemed more calm and chilled than what i anticipated. but nevertheless, they still spoke in a high pitched voice. -.-
they spent the entire day, with me. in my ward. of an ICU unit. of a hospital. on a Saturday.
that too it was diwali, but it didn’t matter. they were there. rather than discussing my accident, they helped me keep my mind off it. by helping me notice things in my ward that i’d completely missed. ( the ‘wash me’ sign was definately one of them :P )
they took me for a wheelchair ride to the neighboourhood toilet. and then some. we “zoomed” past the other wards ( yes, i was still a bit psyco after the accident ;) )
but whatever it was, i knew how they felt at the end of the day, and if i didnt know then, then i surely found out the following week. later that evening, when they were out celebrating, i still received constant voice notes. it is the farthest thing from actually being there, but that one evening.. i definately felt that i was. :)
you guys were there when it really mattered…
Though i slept through a majority of the portion of the day, i am still thankful to you guys, y’all visited when i was sleeping and i didnt have a chance to see you, but knowing that you came all that way, just proved everything i’ve been trying to say the last few pages. :)
you guys cared enough to come. you guys were there when it really mattered.
for the next 2 weeks, i received a tantamount amount of calls inquiring about my health, and had an endless range of visitors. from those who came all the way from sharjah, to those across the road.
i remember each and everyone who visited, and just the act or the purpose of traveling so far. showed that you guys were really there when it mattered.
when it really matters, distance, time, busy schedule, nothing proved to be an obstacle. some of us aren’t even that close, but you still made the effort. at the end of the day, when i considered all the parameters of you all visiting, i realised.
you all were there when it really mattered…
this is my longest post ever, and hopefully the only one as such (regarding the accident). you might or might not have noticed that i have not mentioned my mom and dad anywhere. because i wanted you to leave with the following thought.
i’ve all the friends i need in the world. and they give me strength. but at the end of it all.. Mummy & Daddy..
You were the reason I was able to get back on my feet. You both helped me up. It took me days to walk properly, but every time even the slightest imbalance occurred, your ever so loving hands reached out to me. so that i could hold them and gain balance.
and that is true in statement and symbolically. you helped restore the balance in my life. you helped me realise that this was an opportunity rather than a mishap. an opportunity to realise what i’m blessed with. may the blessings be in the form of friends, doctors or the process of a speedy recovery. you both helped me value life more than i ever previously did. you both restored my faith. faith i had lost a few months ago.
its been over a month, but i still remember the conversation we had the day i was discharged from the hospital. the conversation when i broke into tears out of fear that i would remain handicapped for the rest of my life..
you both just smiled. that in itself gave me a sense of relief. gave me the answer to what i was looking for, that i would be okay..
you guys were not there when it really mattered… you guys were just always there :)
whether it mattered or not.
i love you both so much. and again, i’m sorry for putting you through the trauma of my accident.
People are always there.
but whoever reads this, please absorb the following statement,
” I have friends & parents, who never left my side, and were there when it really mattered…and I love them. they are worth more than anything else in this world for me”
